Bubble Wrap!

Book Study Week 3: Chapter 4

Commentary by Mike Huber 

The first thing that comes to mind is the "Bubble Wrap" song, by Kit & Kaboodle, my daughters favorite band back in the early 2000's.  It's all about the fun in popping! 

When I read the chapter, I could not help but think about what my daughter experienced as she was growing up.  She never ventured too far from home, and I wonder if it was because I didn't let her, or she didn't want to.  Maybe a combination.  She is nineteen and is a fully functioning independent college student who takes risks and has adventures, I must have done something right.  My advice has always been " Be smart, and if you can't be smart, be safe."  

Chapter four of the book comments on the college students who are unable to function on their own.  My daughter told me she has taught about ten kids in her dorm how to do laundry.  (She has been doing her own laundry since she was eight).  She also teaches cooking and baking lessons in the dorm kitchenette.  Many of them have never been "allowed" to use the oven at home.  

Thinking about the questions posed by Mike Huber, I have to go back many. many years.  

• What are the most joyful moments of your childhood?  Playing in the giant lilac bushes that lined our house with my brothers creating roads with our Tonka trucks and making mud pies with my kitchen dishes. 
• Was there risk involved?  We ate berries that we picked off trees, make soup out of dandelions and got sick to our stomachs more times than I can remember.  We got cuts and bruises, and we had to ask our mom (who was a nurse) if we had an abrasion or a contusion.  Contusions did not warrant a bandaid. 
• Can you remember taking a risk that didn’t work out for you?  I was a dawdler and usually made it to school on time, but one day I was sliding up and down my friends stair railing on the way to school and I abraded a hole in my pants.  I was super late for school and remember getting in trouble and I couldn't drive the mail truck that day. (In kindergarden)
• Do you think you benefited from this failure in the long run? Most likely it taught me to there were consequences for being late to school. But I'm not sure how many more times being late it took to sink in.  
• Has a child ever surprised you with their abilities?  All the time.  I try to encourage my charges to "solve your problem" and "keep trying".  I have taught hundreds of children, some amaze me with coordination, some with language and others with the ability to show empathy. 
• Was your first impulse to stop them from trying?  No, I don't think so.
• Think of a time you watched a child take a risk. Yesterday, a small toddler went down the big slide, she leaned forward and planted her feet, and tumbled head over heals down the rest of the way.  What was your first impulse? To try and catch her. What did they gain from the experience?  She gained a healthy fear of the slide and did not try again that day. What did you gain?  The knowledge that I need to help her try again to the next day she is back in school. 

The distinction that Mike Huber makes about removing "hazard" but not "risk", is an important one. I remove hazards all day for my toddlers as I pick up toys in their wake, to make a smoother path for push toys and dancing, wipe up water and paint spills so they can move safely throughout the classroom, and employ "walking feet" rules in the classroom.  They are developing large muscle control and I encourage trying new things in new ways, but I also keep safety in mind all day.  

As the toddlers explore outside on our playground, I am ever present to assist in learning new skills.  I also allow kids to learn from how ~not~ to do it.  I tell new teachers that a toddler has to master the ability to climb to the top of the slide, before they can slide down.  That's the reward!   I feel that placing them on the top of the slide, without learning the skills to get there will make sliding a "hazard" and not just taking a risk. 

Growing up, my wise dad always said "make new mistakes". This gave us permission to screw up.  Try something, fail, try again in a different way (hopefully) and learn something.  He also told us there is no such thing as vicarious learning.  It never failed, one of kids would make a big mistake, and we'd sit the other siblings down and lecture them about how not to do what we did.  But invariably, the other siblings would make the same mistake and ~only then~ did they learn.  By actually trying it themselves.  My dad always hoped we'd learn through failing, but without life altering consequences, but gave us the freedom and space to figure it out. That's life and learning.